behind again on updating! i should do better, cause i really want to track what i eat! seems like i don't 'crave' as many things as i used to when i drank diet soda!

i finished both my walking weeks.. missed a day here or there. but that brings me to this week-- which starts jogging! i only start out w/ a 2 minute jog, then each week it bumps up... and it felt SOOO good to jog this morning. i think we did about 3 1/2 minutes and i felt like i could do more!! which of course is good cz next week is 3 min. jog!

ALL I'VE EVER wanted is to run. and i've never given myself the ability to do it. even back in school, i did everything possible just to get out of doing the mile. i always felt like i had 'asthma' and couldn't do it. i always quit.. i remember one time actually tripping myself (scraping my knees) just to get out of the mile! what a loser.
now all i want is to run like a mad man. put the ipod in and go! i now realize that i can't just start running miles (when i never have). and before my foot problem started again, and when i had a gym membership--i was able to do a 10 minute jog! that is IMPOSSIBLE for me, and i did it.

i enjoy watching the biggest loser, and i'm sure i'm not the only one that watches it and says, yeah... i wanna work out!!! (or not be fat, or whatever) i always try to NOT do that, just so i don't quit til next week or something.. haha
but after last night, watching Mikey say that his morning jog is 5 miles... if he can get there (and i'm sure he was worse off then me) then why can't i jog 5 miles!??!
all i need to do is break my ' i always quit, and i'm lazy' cycle.. :0)

let's break it down- - - -

10 minute walk (i'm following a jog log)

life cereal.. 2 big bowls (hehehe)
serranos for lunch - business mtg, but still over ate
granola
easter candy/chocolate, i was desperate cz of my caffeine withdrawal headache!!!
absolutely NO SODA...
and soooo much water I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

ONE more change!

so.. the whole GYM thing didn't work out..

Kev lost his job (ish) so I cancelled my membership.

I was having a hard time getting there anyway, but I miss it, but kinda glad I don't

have that commitment haunting me!

On to me now... I've gained about 10 pounds, which I rarely do! I know I eat crap all the time, and don't care, eat whenever I want! But as of today (beings I had it yesterday) I'm leaving soda behind! I went soda-free today and it was a complete breeze! I'm crazy shocked... maybe I got lucky. I did take 2 excedrin just to make sure, but I thought I'd need a bottle. Kevin's doing it w/ me and he's mean, so he wont go to quick trip for me! :(

I'm starting my jog-log tomorrow and I've managed to talk a friend in to the torcher w/ me! She said she'd even ditch soda too.. suuuhhhweeet! Talked my sis into too.. She's started and stopped as many times as I have--hopefully it's our last time!

I'll worry about food choices later----kind of let it fall in to place. Figure out what I want exactly and deal w/ lack of soda and walking & jogging.

So, once again...here I am promising big things!

made it to the gym today... but not happy w/ the results :( but AT LEAST i went.

10 on the tread (worried about my feet...feel really tired when i'm walking, hopefully they're adjusting and my problem isn't coming back)

did some circuits... just a few

then did 5 more on the tread.

i was running out of time--went before 7 this morning and knew i needed to get back to get kids up and ready. i'm already sore from 'weights' which surprises me.

2 apples
homemade bread (cinnamon toast)
2 sandwiches (homemade rolls) pb&j and bologna
2 oreos
bbq porkchop, salad, rice
i don't even remember... how sad is that...hopefully that's everything!

I MADE IT TO THE GYM!! wooooot!!!

30 minute (fast) walk w/ a 6 minute jog in there.. VERY happy w/ that considering I haven't been to the gym in 7 (yes SEVEN) months.

I didn't do anything else (kinda quit) but I'm already motivated to go back! I thought it would take a while, but I'M READY NOW!!!

protein shake
apple
grilled chz on homemade bread
raspberry w/ white choc. scones.. (oopsies)
2 pieces of cinnamon toast (homemade bread)
banana w/ peanut butter (best thing EVER)
burger king (double oopsies)
apple
oh... and a double big gulp for my BIRTHDAY!!! :0)

DON'T LOOK!

What good is a weight loss journal if I don't have before pictures! Now keep in mind.. this is even after I've already lost 20 POUNDS!! (how fat did I look before!! )

My fellow Americans....

THE TIME HAS COME! By current demands (of my husband) just kidding... I must return to the GYM!

Everyday I say I will go back. and then everyday I don't. :(

I keep putting it off saying next week and it hasn't been a priority to me. I want it to be though. I get myself motivated to go & then let 'LIFE' happen and skip it. It has been probably six months or so since I went and I'm scared all over to go. haha.... feels like the first time almost.

But I'm prepared to pay for my slacking off & already have a 'food' game plan. I'm going to go in the morning now (which is kinda new).. so I plan on having a protein shake for breakfast then after the gym for a snack I'll have an apple and maybe a slice of homemade bread w/ P.B. depends on how I feel. I'll try and do a sandwich or something for lunch maybe mac & chz w/ the kids (I'll just be careful and have fruit and such) then dinner will be what we feel like. I know myself (too well) that i can't STRESS over every meal and exactly what I should and shouldn't be eating! I just hope all of this will be good enough.

I'm obsessed w/ my big gulps & I'm hoping that by being at the gym in the morning and not wanting to chug a soda after I work out--- that I can bring it down a notch! Have one maybe later w/ lunch or dinner or something. Who knows where I'll end up at.....(with that) but I'm not going to worry about it! ONE thing at a time! :0)

I'm ready to work it on out but scared of what I will look like after! Not that weighing less is scary, but how my fatness will appear.. haha