REASON list..

my list of 'reasons' for exercising/losing weight/eating right/gaining motivation.

(in no particular order)

• participate in pictures and not be embarrassed
• enjoy looking in the closet for things to wear
• like shopping & finding 'my size' AND it fits
• being comfortable in clothes
• wearing 'outfits' --not just what i find that fits
• being happy with how i look
• become a runner/jogger
• be more appealing to kevin
• be looked at bcz i'm pretty, not cz i'm fat
• be able to shop for a swimsuit
• BUY a swimsuit
• WEAR a swimsuit
• allow myself to be seen IN the swimsuit
• have more than one thing to wear
• take advantage of not drinking soda
• be more of an example by healthy eating
• feel better physically & mentally
• like myself more
• succeed at one thing

i'm giving exercising one more shot. 6:00 am means mine & leuschers walking time. i tell myself that if i cant run marathons then why walk??? its a waste!

yes i know... i must start somewhere...but i don't THINK THAT WAY.

so for now, he gets a 30 min. walk which he desperately needs AND wants, and i get alone time and some exercise.

the weekend

the weekend has come & gone.. and all i did was eat crap. which is why i can't allow myself something here & there! i always end up being ALL OR NOTHING. i have no desire (at the moment) to attempt working out or watching what i eat. but like i said.. i made no attempt over the weekend.. so my mind says---why the heck not!!!

i ate some keebler cookie things, 2 servings of brownies & ice cream. a slice of some frozen pie type thing. and of course just regular 'meal' things. i hate this part!

Thursday & Friday

took an impromptu trip up north thursday morning w/ the fam. wasn't prepared to go or EAT up there.. so I took my apples, bananas and my shelled peanuts. I did eat a wrap thing from B.K. cz I was hungry and had already had an apple. (don't wanna know info on that) We stopped at the fish hatchery on the way up.. and did some hiking, fish feeding, more walking, and carrying kids around! (darn kids) we finished off w/ a picnic-- and I managed to eat some carrots, a banana, lettuce/ham roll ups (who am i???) and a couple chips. later had some pineapple and some peanuts. went to a mexican restaurant for dinner and ate very few chips & salsa.. ordered a tostada w/ rice & beans. had some popcorn for a snack later. I was on a ROLL!!

then FRIDAY CAME!
pancakes & eggs for breakfast (did pretty good.. i think) snacked on some peanuts later, had a can of peach juice. tomato slice and hamburger patty for lunch w/ pineapple and cantaloupe.
the rest of the day (til i got home) consisted of this..

jerky
jerky
peanut m&ms..protein right??? :<)
mini chips ahoy cookies
cereal
pineapple OJ
mini oreos
nachos (well a few chips w/ some chz on it.. raegan stole my plate)

it was fun.. i didn't worry too much about what i was eating.. just let it go! but today i'm back on track.. hopefully and ready to go!

Wednesday.. and some Thursday

my calorie in take for the day(wednesday) was 2,097 I didn't complete an official workout.. but everything I do counts... so I logged it!

Cleaning the house, pulling grass out of the garden (w/ literally sweat dripping off my face!)

It's a cheap shot for a 'workout' but oh well. It is what it is.. and I am what I am.

I stay away (completely) from any sweets or treats! I thought it'd be hard & it was for a few days.. and I thought for sure I'd be looking forward to Sunday..my free day... but I don't seem to think about it too much. But that doesnt mean I wont later.. or tomorrow!

I officially hit my 2 month mark of no SODA! Holy cow I never thought that would happen. Wish I would have lost a little weight from that.. just to prove a point!

So here's to another day!

Todays attempt at working out.. was just that! AN ATTEMPT. I waited too long after I ate to workout.. so I was famished and had the beginning of a headache. Now had I been doing weights or something -- I might have survived it. But I knew I was NOT going to be able to finish cardio X on an empty stomach. (or at least the way I was feeling.. )
I'm pretty sure I need to add more calories to my diet-- probably why I felt the way I did. I wish I could keep track of my food on this page, but I already add it to calorie count. com and I don't feel like adding it twice!!
But I DID have cheese enchiladas for dinner tonight! Who says you can't watch what you're eating and have good food!!!! I only had ONE serving and I was very satisfied.. (crazy) but was starving once again.. like an hour later! I CaNnOt figure that one out! I feel pretty healthy (on the inside) no more of those.. ugh.. or blah feelings from eating crap all the time. I LOVE eating fruit all the time. I just wish I could eat veggies the same way. I can only do those cooked!
My calorie intake for the day was 1,686.

I've managed to count calories all weekend.. and even enjoyed (too much) my free day on sunday. I limit all that I eat, so mostly healthy things that I can keep track of calorie wise.

I'll try and figure a way to jot down what I eat, but I keep track on caloriecount.com. and it's every little detail! Down to butter, or how many turkey slices and EVERYTHING! So here are my calorie counts for the weekend.

Friday--2438
Saturday--1893
Sunday--2336 (this was even including an ice cream sandwich, 2 diff types of cookies & ice cream!) haha.. told you i went over board!!! But it pays to eat fruit & limit myself to other things!

I'm not sure where my calorie limit is.. it should be 1400... but there is NO WAY I can consume only that and survive P90X workouts! So we'll see where I end up.

And I did update my weight on the side...and I was dreading doing that.. been putting it off, cz it went up. (way up) but I need to be honest w/ my hobbit self!

So--rock it out... and here I go!

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monday evening---LETS ADD MONDAYS TOTAL... a calorie count of 1597. i'm kinda hungry right now (its 10.. but i'm letting my fat enjoy itself.. so no food for me)

i completed (w/ some breaks of course.. i'm new) chest & back from X and ab ripper X.

I suck!

must we try this one more time!
again.. trying to have myself eat better & exercise! why is this an endless battle for me?
EVERYDAY I:

• hate how much i weigh
• hate that clothes don't fit or have none to wear
• don't like being envious of others 'weight'
• get tired of wishing i was something different
• don't like the category 'well..you've had kids'
• hate apologizing to kevin that i'm not 'FIT'

so how on earth can every day i SIT here and not change anything. ????

it cant honestly be THAT hard... i'm just lazy & choose to be so!

i honestly enjoy eating 'healthy' foods, just choose to not swear by it. probably where my problem lies! so, once again..i'm embarking on a battle of my will-- i hate this part!

editors note: i completed P90X (the cardio x)